—

my sun has gone and made my world
full of life and song that’s true
but if my sun goes dark around me
I know will always have you

Cum`on y`all, sing along with me

I mean really, if you don’t know these lyrics
you probably don’t belong on *this* site…

Also, one of the best acoustic guitar sounds I have ever heard, on this song and on the rest of the album

So, I am bored…

And I start cleaning my desk, oh yea, it is that bad. While throwing all sorts of shit out I come across the manual for a pair of speakers I have had for, oh god, twenty five years or more. They were cool, little bookshelf speakers, sounded great but I realized two years ago that the low end was shot in them. Actually that rubber seal that goes around the outside of these speakers was totally gone and without that there is no low end, period. So I spent some time looking to replace these speakers, or the blown out parts to no avail, and ended up buying a new pair of Polk speakers. And yes, I like them a lot.
So, I am looking at the manual and ready to throw it out when I stop and just punch in their names into the google search bar. No, do understand I have done this many times trying to find them with no luck, and Boom… their is a link to ebay.
I sit at the comp looking at the link, I hate ebay but have in the past gotten some great stuff from it so… click, and their they are, the speakers I have been looking for. $50.00 for the pair with no grill, no problem, I still have my old grills. So… yup, I did it, I went to buy them and of course they want you to use paypal, only problem there is what is my pay pal info. I start searching everywhere trying to find out who I am on P.P. and I find my name, geeee… I said, well that looks familiar, then sign up for a new password, only problem there is it has been so long since I have used P.P. that my credit card is not the same and so I have to guess at the questions they are now asking… where was I born, first answer “none of your fuckin business” hmmm, that didn’t work, ok, lets try this…. good, and now you want my social, oy! did I really agree to all of this shit, put it in and yup, I guess I did.
So, I bought the speakers, they will be here next week and I hope they work. If they don’t well, they will end up on a canvas as another female nude… smiles

Please allow me to introduce myself #2

So, I made it through most of my teens without too much of a problem, never thought I’d make it to twenty but there it was. I had dropped out of high school, became a kosher butcher, went back to high school, graduated and went to a two year college in Boston. Just my luck it turned out to be the college that fed drugs to all the other schools in the Kenmore Sq area. So, I sort of fit right in. I fell in love with a dyke who wanted nothing to do with me, hung out with an alcoholic from Florida, we always missed our morning classes and breakfast, would meet at her place around noon and start our day with some nasty assed screwdrivers and off to class we would go. All of us would meet again by four pm at the bar on the corner “Pooh’s Pub” where we would proceed to get drunk as skunks and at 2am get kicked out and back to the dorms to party until 4… crash, get up at noon and do it all over again. Pooh’s was a cool place, they would keep track of how much money you had spent on drinks until you reached $100 and then you were a member of the $100 dollar club where you would pick a night that you wanted and you could drink whatever you wanted all night and it was the owners responsibility to get you home and into bed, I never made it but a friend of mine did and I don’t think he was ever the same… they would also have jazz concerts in the back room where on any given night you could pay a dollar to see some of the cats from Berkley play, it was cool.

I got to see some great music in Boston that year, would go to Paul’s Mall and the Jazz Workshop, ate great Chinese food in China town, and just didn’t care… it was a party school, at a party time and I did party…

The school went bankrupt the second year I was there, which was fine for me as I got to go back to New York and start my life again.

 

More soon …

I Stepped On My Dream

I stepped on my dream today
just enough to make it wonder
if it should change direction
and clear its head

I stepped on my dream today
I hurt it and it told me so
want to know why
the answer was given

I stepped on my dream today
I tripped over it
and made it cry
this pain I felt and explained

I stepped on my dream today
enough to make it think
pull back into its memories
and think who am I

I stepped on my dream today
I love this dream of mine
and it loves me back
but careful will it run

I stepped on my dream today
it made me think
should I, and why…
yes, and love

I stepped on my dream today
I still need my freedom
I still don’t want to die
I still want you

I stepped on my dream today
and I apologize

Tonight

so you see I wonder it to me
is it true that nobody has ever
sent this beautifully dimpled
woman anything?
Impossible, I say… but I might be wrong
So happy she is,
jumping up and down like a child
on their first Christmas
I can see her doing it
especially after last night
when I got to see her laugh
and wonder
and tease
she is who I want to be with
tonight, and every night
I no longer care how this concept
scares her
I have seen her and tonight
we get to talk, oh please let us talk
tonight
enjoy the gifts
I enjoyed them for you
*kiss*

Waiting

I’m wondering
what I am doing, where I’ve been
how I got here, and why did I win
I’m thinking
that I should be, something more
that I see me, through that door
I’m willing
to be more than before, to see the light
I’ve seen before, to have thee by my side
I’m expecting
to see new ways, to hear new sounds
to bleed new drops, to be the clouds
I’m wanting
to see you, to hear your smile
to smell your face, to touch your lace
I’m waiting
for the you, and the me
and the S’s, and mom to see
me

Awoke This Morning

Awoke this morning to a headache and a hard-on
this should be a painfully interesting day
___________________________________________

And the headache is winning, going to lie down

Once Upon A Time

Argue with me today, lets see how far we can go
can I get you so mad the headache will come
frustrate you so much that you explode
or will you just sit there and let me go
can a tear appear, maybe more
or will you shake so much a doc be called
oh, wait… I’ve something for you
a gift from Christmas that just arrived
so sorry for the delay but it is from Italy
and it is for you
Happy cooking my dear, I hope you enjoy…

Excuse me but, if you want to make me happy
if you even care to give me a gift
drop to your knees and suck on my dick
jerk me off until I cum on the kitchen floor
do something, anything but give me pots to cook with
you stupid fuckin bitch that was once my favorite whore

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Hello,
This one of those writings that come with great difficulty because I am writing about my self. The self that I have kept low for a long time but it is time to explain a few things to you. I am not afraid of people, I just am not a believer in them, they lie too fuckin much and their morals are shot to shit. I am not afraid of you because I understand you, I am not afraid of anyone in your past because I can see them where they can not see me, and I am not afraid to die.
You see, during my teens I began to look for myself, as most do at that age, but it was in the late 60’s and there was a lot to look through. I looked into Judaism, Buddhism, meditation, eastern philosophies, and had outer body experiences. I looked into the dark side of witchcraft, went as far as reading into the Satanic Bible, I dabbled, experimented, and was smart enough to get out before I made any great deals, any of those that I did make have already been filled. I shut that side of me down tightly, to never reopen again. But, I do have the ability to read things well, just as I can smell a bad piece of meat, I can see where others can’t, if I allow myself to do so.
I have ridden with the Hells Angels, been a junkie, a coke freak, and alcoholic, all during my teens. I never tried suicide, but yet I did, story to be told soon…
I have been driving cars since I was 12, stole a car and ran away from home only to end up in jail in Salem County Illinois with an old man that beat the shit out of his daughter because she wanted him to stop drinking, and a teenage murder, killed three people, and the person I stole the car with and… we had a cat in the car with us that the guards would let me out to feed everyday.
I have died twice, and been welcomed back, each time with the same mission, to help as many people as I can before I die. I have spoken with God, I believe in reincarnation, and have seen some of my past lives, and met some people from them. I have serious health issues that are from my formation in the womb and I have not given in to them, I have been able to do almost everything I have ever wanted to do and made a life for myself that others would envy if I let them know what I have done and where I been.
I love, love, being loved, sharing love, even the smell of love. I have been described as a “romantic”
and I accept that description with open arms. I need to be loved more than I need anything else in this world and I have just found it again… ty
I am an artist, educator, really bad poet, I like to travel, favorites so far are NYC, Montreal, Paris. I love Vermont, upstate NY, and the Caribbean. I have lived in New Jersey, New York, California, Vermont and Massachusetts. I’ve driven across this country 4 times, each one is a wonderful experience. Did you know that there are X rated drive in theaters in Texas? Neither did I… I eat almost everything, leave brains off of my plate please, I love to cook, garden, not as much these days, but when I am happy I love it.
I have worked as a cook, dishwasher, gas pump jockey, waiter, roofer, kitchen degreaser, parking lot attendant, shoe salesman, drummer, electronic technician, audio/video maintenance engineer, recording engineer, record producer, fireman, road manager, a booking agent, and a teacher in a college (present). I have taken part in the constructing of recording studios, video studios, and sound stages, wired entire facilities, repaired and rebuilt them too.

One of my earliest memories was with a box of cereal, a door, and a crayon. I was drawing the letter G from the cereal box all over the kitchen door with my crayon and my mother freaked, she thought I was a friggin’ genius for being able to write the letter G. They finally figured out I was copying it but it was interesting none the less.

In the summer of `69 I was 14 and my parents sent me away to a camp in upstate NY. It was a “Jewish” camp and I remember that on the first day there the “counselors” were giving their speech about the place, you know where your bunks are, whats in store for you at the camp, where the shitters are, bla, bla, bla, and at one point during the speech they said “and let me warn you about trying to leave this camp, there are a lot of Nazi’s out there and they will kill you before you have a chance to get back to the campground, so DO NOT LEAVE THE CAMPGROUND without having a supervisor with you to protect you.” I mean really, its 1969, everyone of the campers has balls, street smarts if you will, we have all been getting high for years already, do you really think we believe there are fuckin Nazis out there… That may have worked at one time, but not any longer. I was doing the camp thing, running, swimming, cleaning, chasing the girls, getting high and one day I was bringing in a row boat that I had, I rowed it in as far as I could and jumped out to start hauling it in when I felt something on my foot. I got to shore and looked down and there was a piece of a broken bottle stuck in my foot. I got help to the nurses office, they cleaned and bandaged me up and I hobbled out of there to go to dinner. I was no longer to play camp games since I only had 1 foot to run on so… after a couple of days like this I got bored, got two of my friends together and split the camp.
On our way off the property we did see swastikas on trees, and some mounted boards but once we got to the road all was beautiful. There were rolling hills, green grasses and the air smelled so clear, not like in the camp. So we walked for a while and then started to hitch hike got a ride to a cross roads where we took a left and the driver went straight. We walked for a while, me hobbling, and we saw this tractor come slowly down the road, the closer it got the freaker it got. It pulled up along side of us, the driver had long hair, a cowboy hat, overalls, and said Hi in a way that you really didn’t know what he said. We figured out that he said his name was Wavy Gravy and invited us on to go to the farm.
We all got on and down the road we went, it took a while but we did finally pull off the road and down a hill and then we saw it… a stage was being built on this farm in the middle of a field. We all jumped off the tractor and met everyone, names I can not recall now. We stayed the first night, partied, ate well, slept under the stars.. The next morning we got up and everyone started working on building the stage. We stayed there for three days working, partying, playing and then got a ride back close to the camp. When we got their our parents were there, the cops were there, and we got kicked out of the camp and parents took us all home.
Within the next month I started hearing about this concert that was about to take place in NY a three day show to be known as Woodstock. I got tickets as soon as I could and prepared myself to go. Well, on the Thursday I was going to leave I got up in the morning, went downstairs and sat down with a coffee. My mother came into the kitchen got her coffee, turned towards me and screamed “What the hell is wrong with you!?” as she dropped her coffee. I was like WHAT? She dragged me to a mirror and my glands were sticking out of the side of my head… I had the fuckin mumps! And I wasn’t going anywhere except to the Dr.
I got to listen to a lot of the show being broadcast over the radio and a couple of years later the movie came out. I went to see the movie and in the opening scene of the movie was Wavy Gravy and his tractor driving to the field where the stage was… yes, love… I got to help build Woodstock!