hmmm

the world its changes the wonders of the lamb
all come forth to see if it can

is the spirit of the sea calm against the wind
or has it gone and blown over again

the wonderment of it all Venus eclips the sun
or is the bitch just wondering to where she can have her fun

hear my life, my moon, my stars
all the while insisting that I crave to be too far

so hear ye, so hear ye, come to the plaza town
when you do just remove that horrid ugly frown

we are of life, liberty and song unto thee
as we go and hide underneath that golden tree

of moonlight that sways beneath the breeze
with cloth, bread and that wonderful cheese

I take of you whole, I dream of you near
just dream so much more and let go of your fear

so run away, run away, run away home
it is far better than buried in that tomb

A *kiss* for your forehead, a *hug* for your soul

A *kiss* for your forehead a *hug* for your soul
that’s what she needed, that’s what I saw
a belief in the wonderment of it all
of the tears, of the movement
of the dreams that could be
when the joy runs out and the pain replaces thee

A*kiss* for your forehead a *hug* for your soul
to take all your trouble to free up your soul
will you allow me to travel some more
teach me the tricks tell me the rules
I need something baby I think you know what
share with me now you know the spot

A*kiss* for your forehead a *hug* for your soul
I see inside where no one dared go
how could they when you had up your walls
I see I say I won’t go away
so come join my hands let the pasts go their way
it is here for us now and now is today

Please Allow Me #4

OK, so I am doing well, working for a great studio in NYC, have wife and a lover, and now I need brain surgery. OK, fine… lets go.. It was discovered that I have an AVM and it was going to be alleviated. Into the hospital I go, work is supporting me, parents were there (which was weird enough) sister, wife.. sheesh.
I get prepped for the surgery tomorrow, everyone leaves for the night and out of nowhere pops Julie with the studio manager. I was so happy!!! We hugged, kissed, talked for what seemed like hours, Ivan (studio manager) left a long time ago and it was just the two of us. I don’t remember anyone coming by to say she had to go so we just kept on talking… eventually she did leave but before she did she handed me a bag filled with boxes of Jello mixes, never did understand why…
The next morning I get wheeled in for the surgery.
It turns out that the AVM was bigger than expected, they thought there was 1 blood vessel feeding it and there turned out to be three. Was on the table for 8 hours when they decided to stop for it would have been too much a strain on my heart. It was to be followed up by a second procedure.
I was wheeled out of the room and set up is a post op waiting area, was given a intern(?) to watch over me. He was reading a newspaper more than he was watching me and as I was lying there I coughed kinda hard, was smoking two packs a day then, he looked at me to see if I was ok, I looked at him and said “I guess I should not cough so hard” and he agreed and went back to his paper. So, I am lying there feeling like I am starting to catch a buzz, things are just looking different, eyes feel like they are closing when a nurse, or head nurse walks in. I see her image as she is throwing my “watcher” off his chair, I get this weird smile on my face, and as she starts putting pressure on my groin, I am gone… remember nothing more from that room, but I do remember “floating” just being sort of somewhere when in a distance I see a light. Now people… I am not kidding, I saw the light and was being drawn closer to it.
The closer I got the better it felt and I so wanted to get right up there and touch and hug it, but as I did I heard a voice say “you are to go back and help people” Huh??? “Go help” was all I heard, and then the next thing I knew was back in my hospital bed, in my room with way too many people around me.
Things calmed down as the day went on, people seemed to back off, and I kept going in and out of sleep. I don’t remember if Julie was ever back while I was still there, I’d have to call it a maybe. But everyone else was. I got to go home a few days later, and it went from being with doctors nurses and family to being with wife and friends.
I remember the doc telling me to be careful as the brain will be swollen for a few weeks. And for the first few days I was (I think) but after that my attitude started coming back. I remember saying to myself, ok, so you wanted to kill me, and probably still do so lets see if you can… I started getting high first with some pot, and then moved to the coke. I took it on heavily, snorting my ass off and nobody could say no to me. I was determined to die, and challenged it with everything I could find. Nothing worked… I am still here…
About a month after I went back to work and so did the wife…

Would I?

today’s the day we remember all
those who fought
and those who fell
to the survival of our freedom
when we remember
it is us they did this for
the children, their futures, the azure
skies, the existences of life itself
would you do so today, would I
just give up all to go to war
and on the field lay down and die?

Hey Sara

Are you ok?
I felt you , then I saw you
visited my site today
just askin, just checkin
up on you to see
if your eyes made the page
or was it David that
made the see
Either way
it doesn’t matter
you were represented there
I thank you for stoppin
by, it just shows
you still care

allanxo

Just My Opinion

I can read the dead girls poetry
I can see the life she tried to lead
I can feel the pain she had
as she cut to chase her dad
I can see the friend no friend
the one she used to bend
but even then the one she was
is the one that no one does
so let her run, stay away
don’t come back to play
you’ve mistreated everyone
so stay the fuck away

Ring of Fire

I got your name tattooed inside my heart
I’m feeling you crawling through
in the left aorta you make your turn
and come out again while my face is a burn
from fire, that I rage oh for you

I’ve got your name tattooed for the world to see
I am feeling you everywhere
if I turn around you can see it’s right, on my ass
just like drinking it up out of a broken of glass
of fire, that I rage oh for you

I’ve got your name tattooed where ever I bleed
I see that you’re smiling crawling over to me
but it’s me, crawling over to you
it is screaming so loudly for you to accrue
with my ring of fire, that I rage for you