Why…

So what is it that makes me think I miss her
is it the fact that I think about her everyday
about how she whispered in my ear that she loved me
that I can still feel her in my arms
see the smile in her eyes
feel the touch of her lips upon mine
know that for the first time
I was truly in love
Or is it the fact that I have her no more
she left me for she was too close
closed the door and remove the key
never to be seen or heard from again
those eyes will never see mine
nor will she see my tears
she will only remember my embrace
if I am lucky
but she will remember my dismay
which led to my anger
which closed the door totally for me
It might be the adage that
absence makes the heart grow fonder
but this absence makes my heart pain so
way too much and way too long
but it does
it may be just the memory that I long for
about how good it was and how great it felt
and yes this love is just a memory
and it is living in my memory motel
a memory of a love
that used to mean so much to me

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Someone Else’s Blues

Who am I kidding, these are my blues and no one else’s.
I awoke this morning with them, and I can’t shake them off. I pray to whoever there is to pray to that no one else ever ends up with these blues. They absolutely suck. I know why I have them, there is no need to guess, I know what they are about, again no guessing here, I just know everything except how to get rid of them.
It happens every day, every night, every free moment of my mind, she is there, and I remember everything!
Some days i can deal with it, other days I dwell in it, today I am shitting in it.
I still love this fuckin cunt! I can’t get rid of her, no matter what I do or think she is still/always within me, and never with me and that my friends is what hurts the most.
Excuse me while I go and shed some more inner tears for the outer ones I can not allow the world to see.