Yea!

this is how I feel tonight… The Grateful Dead

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Travel On

I wrote this one over a year ago and found it in a file this morning. I have come far from here so do not think this is me now.

Travel On

divorce and depression
walk together side by side
never letting go of the other
holding on by the will of satan

I can’t break loose, stuck in
the muck and mire of a golden hoof
everything falling around me
as I sleep away the possibilities
of life

yes, I left you, yes I wanted to
yes, I needed to, yes, I left you
and what I thought was the main
move, all it seems to have done
was to give me room for depression

I need to get up, need to stand again
need to walk down the street with my
head held high, not down at my feet
preparing myself for the major fall
for it all,
just giving up as I careen
the sidewalks, kicking dust as I go
don’t cha know
I need to rise through the ashes of her
All of her, nothing left unturned
Then
I might be ok to travel on

I am ready

as I stand here crying
naked to the world to see
I am ready, take me
to the place that never ends
let my life seal it’s soul
I am back to the point where
what I need and what I want
are just endings
I am ready, take me

the people I love
are so few
they will miss the
curmudgeon of me
I will miss one of them
it has been a hard week
the tears still flowing
as though I was a woman
left feeling the measures
of time, the pains of the world
feel like their mine
and all I want to do
pass not even pass go

as I stand here crying
over what I no longer have
and what I want to have
I realize what I need is
to find the end to the means
chuckle some stones around
light a candle to show the sign
speak to the gods and tell them
I am ready, take me