Grrr…

Im tired of reading

Im tired of writing

tired of managing my soul

just let me out 

and let me be

and let me fill the hole

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I hurt… OK?

I left you last night with tears in my eyes
streaming down my face with the knowledge
of who you are and how i really felt about you
but did you have to use your voice on me…
really?
I do wonder what happened, I know you let go
for a short time, I wonder what happened
or who took your mind off me
I know what we have, I know what we had
but it might be time to really let go
what ever hold you have on me it is time Hun
to let me go
I mean just think of a few things with me
I hate winter, you need it to breathe
I need warmth, you suffer in it
you walk every where, I hobble and drive
you watch every cent, I could give a shit
you are a writer, a poet, a creater, a lover
I can’t do any of those, except for love
and even then I lie, cheat, and run
you forgive, but never forget
I can not forgive, even myself
and I never learn by my mistakes
*sigh*
that is all I have to say
we can not talk again, your control
is not where I need to go
so if it hurts me to leave, then so be it
if it hurts her because I did then let it happen
if nothing happens then I thank you

a

I Wonder if I Can

ok, so lets move on
I lie
I have been a liar for
most of my life
I was raised by a liar
and I always knew when
he was
I saw this and I didn’t want
to be this way, but…

the first thing, I think, to help
is to stop lying, which is
pretty much impossible

the next thing would be that
as soon as you tell a lie
tell the person you just lied to
that
you lied…
and duck when she throws the punch

there… its done, you told a lie
and admitted it before it turned
itself into a whole series of lies
boom
done
clean
what a fuckin concept

I wonder if I can do that

A Liar

pass the depression
ream me a new ass hole
yeah I lied to you
still do
the meet up was in August
*shrug*
I will never be trusted
by you again and that
is how it will end in my
world
Im a sack of shit
lying out my ass
so you knew
so I knew
so everyone should have known
but no one really did
till you
I hurt people lover
I hurt them badly
as you know
so
what to do?
I don’t know but
I will lay low for a while
and suffer my own shit
I should have known better
that I couldn’t
I wouldn’t
I am just who I am
a liar…