I hurt… OK?

I left you last night with tears in my eyes
streaming down my face with the knowledge
of who you are and how i really felt about you
but did you have to use your voice on me…
really?
I do wonder what happened, I know you let go
for a short time, I wonder what happened
or who took your mind off me
I know what we have, I know what we had
but it might be time to really let go
what ever hold you have on me it is time Hun
to let me go
I mean just think of a few things with me
I hate winter, you need it to breathe
I need warmth, you suffer in it
you walk every where, I hobble and drive
you watch every cent, I could give a shit
you are a writer, a poet, a creater, a lover
I can’t do any of those, except for love
and even then I lie, cheat, and run
you forgive, but never forget
I can not forgive, even myself
and I never learn by my mistakes
*sigh*
that is all I have to say
we can not talk again, your control
is not where I need to go
so if it hurts me to leave, then so be it
if it hurts her because I did then let it happen
if nothing happens then I thank you

a

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2 responses to “I hurt… OK?

  1. I know you hurt – I have known for a long time.

    And – if I am willing to admit it to myself – I didn’t think you were going to make it to December without someone to hold onto…

    I didn’t think you would go looking – just that I knew something bad would happen and that I had to keep you going somehow until I could make love to you again.

    You solved that one on your own and the surprise here is that – it’s ok.

    I took a long walk today – thought so hard you could smell the wood burning and then I just let it all go…

    What is done is done – it’s not like me staying hurt or angry will ever change anything.

    It is what it is.

    So yes – I forgive, and I don’t forget and I won’t throw away the past two years even if you need to.

    You are too important to turn into garbage.

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