*Sigh*

I sit in my room realizing I am depressed
stuck in the middle between loves and happiness
wondering why if I am happy with one
why can’t the other see me and just be gone
well, she can’t so I have to tell her
put up my dukes, turn out the lights and
play pinata on my head while she awaits
the candy treats to fall out of my soul

I am not in the mood for this, at all
I am losing patience with myself
so what if I broke a toe, it really doesn’t hurt
just annoying like that part of my life
just annoying as if she is still trying to care for me
well, she is and I am so tired of it, woman just stop
you can take that 50/50 theory and put it back from
where you thought of it, I don’t recall what it is anyway

the sentiment that I feel tonight is one that no one should
I am pissed off at nothing but yet pissed off at everything
I want to go away, grab my paints and fly to another world
disappear from this one with no care left for anybody or anything
I have not felt the urge to run in a very long time and I understand
that doing so will help nothing, but I still feel so, so, helpless
stuck in this hole of my life, wanting the other side of it to appear
so I can move along in peace, happiness, harmony, but,
now I am stuck, which rhymes with fuck, which is something I wish I could do
but the other one said no for so long… sigh… we’ll save that for another day

but yet, the world is changing for someone else
seeing things she never knew, hearing life that is true
saying things that are meant to be, from me
and it makes me so happy to be able to free her
even if it is just for a few seconds, months, years
I find joy in releasing her soul from the binds of life
back to her self again, no cruelty here, no arguments
either, just finding ways to make things happen and
hearing her excitement, her ideas, her thoughts alone
are enough to carry me through, her attitude… my pleasure

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