I Tier

I tier
I tier of the life I have had for so long
I tier of the mate I had held so close for eternity
I tire of this place I once held with joy
I tier of mine, yours, and ours together
I fear
I fear of the life I created with you
I fear that it is not what it once had seemed
I fear that the life you saved, you should have not
I fear you most of all, and that, that must go
I tear
I tear that we are coming to an end
I tear that our lives must now part
I tear that without you, without you I must restart
I tear that the time has now come
I sorrow
I sorrow with the loss of you
I sorrow that the times we spent will now be through
I sorrow that once was a long time ago
I sorrow that to begin again will have no you
I doubt
I doubt that I am making a mistake for any life with fear is wrong
I doubt that my strength can not carry me through
I doubt that any decision now is the wrong one
I doubt that I should stay here with you
I see
I see past today’s and on to tomorrows
I see that I shall live a life without fear
I see a happiness that I have not known for years
I see my life begin again and with it a new love
I pray
I pray my future is before me and I see it correctly
I pray your future holds promise for you
I pray that we do not war our ways next
and I pray we do what must be done with no remorse

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2 responses to “I Tier

  1. You know I will mention typing – but it wasn’t what I want to talk about now (or even ever because sincerity has its own form of spelling and even those who may be able to write from their heads with the accepted forms might never come as close to being as genuine and loving as you are here – typing be damned – the heart has its own rhythm and music and yours is coming through loud and clear)

    I know people who could not take the steps you are willing to and beginning to take right now – I applaud your courage, your dignity and your determination to not accept half a life as all there is that is left for you – I empathize with your sorrow and your fears…

    Knowing you are not living what was ‘meant’ is one thing.

    Manning the fuck up and giving yourself the chance to reach out and take hold of the life you want is another.

    I look forward to sharing this new world with you my dear friend…

    I am so glad to be able to have the chance to.

    Love,
    L.

  2. Oh L.,
    I thank you for your understanding of what I am going through, and that you will be here to share it through with me. It is not easy, nor fun, nor exciting at all, but it is a change that must be met. I need to have my life back, and am willing to go through whatever it takes to get it.

    Peace my friend
    h/k/l

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