My hour of Hell

Yesterday did it for me, my friend was dying and all I could do was yell at her through email chat. That was it, she was in a full blown mother fuckin asthma attack the likes of which I had never imagined and all I had was email. Fuck! How the hell was she even able to read and reply? I still don’t get it but I attacked it with all I had. From the moment she said she could not breath I tried to tell her what to do, calming her down, short slow breaths, take your meds… what is a breathy thingy any way? Sorry, but that’s all I could think of, inhaler is the proper term but how the hell did I know.
I had no idea what I was doing, or saying, all I know is that I did not want this friend of mine to die. I kept at her, breath slow, I wanted to say slow breathe but could not remember hot to spell it, breath cummon now another and another… she was crying so hard, so scared I was, so upset she was… crying harder and harder, breathing less and less, finally got to the peak flow reading test… I never heard of that either, took the test and the number sucked! Take another med, talk to me , test again…
OMG, I was so fuckin scared… someone so far away, so not knowing, so at fucking work, so not knowing who she really is, and so not knowing who to call, just keep her breathing, and calming was all I could do and it was working. Her son came and got things set up in case she passed out, had the phone ready to speed dial and knew the routine that needed to be done. I was calming down a bit when she started having mucus attacks from crying so hard… I am totally lost here… mucus attacks? So spit woman! No, its not like that she says, its more like the tears, the tears choke you to death… a nice slow calm death… DO NOT STOP BREATHING! I won’t she said, took another peak flow reading the number was up to 350 which is getting better but the mucus and the tears are still there but slowing down… and I had to leave FUCK! I had to leave work, my ride arrived and I had to leave. I don’t want to, if anything I want to fly to her, hold her in my arms and comfort her back, but no… not for me, I had to leave her in the hands of her son and she… would look for me later… Shit… I hid my tears all my way home and got on line as soon as I could and she was in pretty bad shape but still alive…


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