The other day…

So I got to work in the am, she usually arrives around 11. By 11:30 she was not there, I began to wonder what was up when a friend of ours came by and told me she was in a lot of pain the night before and was clutching at her liver, which by the way need to be replaced and yes she is on the waiting list. Now I was worried, I jumped to her twitter site and saw the last one was two hrs ago which meant she was ok and on her way but still I freaked. I have seen her in this pain before, it worried me then and it worried me now. I overheard someone say that they got in touch with her and she was stuck in traffic and she would be hear soon. I got up went outside and waited on the patio in a place that I would be able to see her when she arrived. Which worked, she came up to me, asked how I was feeling, told her I was fine. “Really?” she said, really but tell me… what happened to you last night was my words. She gave me a quizzical look and said “what do you mean?” With your pains i said… she looked, asked how I knew, I told her since I can keep nothing from her (which I don’t quite understand) and she gave me the whole story…

I got home and wrote this email of which I have yet to send, and thinking I won’t, at least not until the divorce comes through…

June 17, 2011

Ok Baby, I need to say this now so please read on.
Once I heard about your episode the other night it hit me harder than ever before.
I am very much still in love with you,
I want to be the person that takes care of you for the rest of your life,
I want to be by your bedside when you are ill, and walk down the street with you when you are well,
I want to read to you at night,
I want to give you the last kiss of the day, and be the first one to say good morning to you when you awake,
I want to be the person that you love,
I want to be there when you pass,
and I want to be the person by your side forevermore.

I can’t help but feeling that you will be somewhere and your health kicks you and I am not there to help you. I want to be there, I feel I have to be there.

I am very serious about this as I have never felt this way before.

Baby, I want to be back in your life…

And I expect you to say “sigh, no and I told you this before…” but I had to let you know

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