How do you do it? How do you manage to go on?
Well I know how, your feelings about this short lived relationship were/are far different than mine. For you I have to believe it was a game. Yes I know that you have denied this to me but I still believe it was. You stepped out, wanted to try again and picked me. It might have been a game for me too had we not fallen in love so fast. But yet it was more than love for me. It was the friend I never had, the one that no matter what I said or how I said it was always there to listen and comment on it. And you taught me so much about life and about the world and even religion, which I always stayed away from. Views I had never seen or heard before. They were from another side of the world, places I had never thought of, never planned to be, but with you I was there. You became my friend, one that I never knew I needed and now one that I find so hard to live without.
The only way for me to look at this is the absolute closest friend I have ever had has just passed on and I am taking it hard. One reason is that I have never had a friend that close, nor have I ever wanted one. The other thing is I don’t like people and you are a person that has affected me so much I can not forget you, ever! I go through periods of love, hate, sadness, despising you, needing you and around and around we go… will this stop? I do wonder. Five months out of a three month relationship and I am worthless. Neither here nor there, I am totally without you and that is good but getting over you…. another story for sure. One that will find its way out of my soul but for now still lives inside of me.