yet again

another dream, yes about you…

My vacation was over and I went back to work. I was there for a few days before I realized that I had not seen you. I just figured that you were avoiding me since we are, or at least I am, going in and out of hating you. But it was too long and too quiet so I went to your supervisor to ask about you. I know him and was hoping for a true answer from him. He said that you had been hospitalized but would not tell me where or why. I walked out of his office and was freaking to know more, I searched for anyone that could tell me until I bumped into an old woman, almost knocking her down. I asked “where is she, whats going on?” She turned looking directly into my eyes and said “Canada” and with a cane in her hand she walked away. Canada… Canada I said, what the fuck?
I ran home and got on my computer, searched all the hospitals I could find in Canada and came up with nothing. I searched and sent out messages on fb, tweeterville, and other sites I had never heard of and finally, two days later I got a hit from Mexico saying that he had talked to someone in Libya, who found a note at some hole in the ground in Palestine that said “American Hospital Montreal”. I turned and told my wife that I was going to Montreal of which the response was, “I’ll go with you” and as she turned to get her coat I said “no! I go alone!” Ran out of the house slamming the door behind me and jumped into the car… it wouldn’t start, I tried to catch the bus on the corner and it wouldn’t stop, I ran into town and found no help, the planes were all grounded, no cabs would go that far. I was stuck there when suddenly a hand grabbed me from behind and pulled me into the air. The person that had me said” hey dude… don’t you know about SL?” and off to Montreal we flew.
We landed just outside the hospital and I realized then that I was alone. I walked through the hospital doors and was whooshed into a wheelchair, wheeled in and out of a series of elevators, down numerous halls and finally stopped at a nurses desk. Next thing I knew I was standing there, no more wheelchair, and the very large dark skinned nurse asked if she could help. I told her I was there to see the Queen, she looked down at me and said “darlin’, there are nothin’ but Queens on this level, which one might you be looking for, of which I replied with “well, my Queen of course.” she smiled and looked down at me again and said “honey, this is the Queens quarters, all the people here are Queens, so which Queen are you looking for?
I was getting frustrated, I looked up and down the hall and said “My Queen God damn it, the Queen of the Nile of course, the last of the great pharaohs, I am looking for…” At that point she slapped her hand over my mouth, and her eyes almost popped out of her head as she came out from behind her desk, she eyed me up and down, knelled down close to me and asked if I was he. What, I said… again she said ” are you him, are you one… are you Cesar? Suddenly I was surrounded by women dressed in black gowns with only slits wide enough for their eyes to see, and I was being pushed down the hall being unable to see I just had to follow along, then we stopped and I was alone standing in front of a room with a closed door. I felt the door and no big thing, wood probably with a handle. I grabbed the handle and opened the door. Inside I saw two people sitting along side your bed, one was Johnny, your son who had something in his had and his thumbs were leaving trails behind as they travels so fast across what I could only assume was a keyboard or some game, and the other I assumed to be your mother who had a book in her hand but was not reading.
Johnny and I looked at each other and I nodded towards the door for him to leave. He shook his head back and forth to say no and I did it again more forcibly a d he said “no, she doesn’t want to see you” I replied with “What?” He handed me a note that read if he shows up send him away
I saw that and told him to get the hell out of here I need to talk to her and take grandma with you… they were gone
I was in the room alone with you, I walked over to the bed and you were lying there, eyes closed, breathing but very quietly. I saw your chart and it read COMA, and nothing else. I sat down next to you on the bed, you did not move, I picked up your hand and placed it upon my arm so you could feel my hairs and slowly moved it back and forth. I then leaned in and whispered into your ear “darling, my Queen, I am here, your master has found you again and all will be well. I know you can here me and I know what it is like to be where you are but just listen to me and come home. You are stuck between two worlds and the one you desire to be at won’t take you yet so come home baby…just come home. Your Cesar awaits.”
I left for the day and as I walked out of the hospital I immediately was at work, the day seemed to take forever but when it was done I was at the hospital talking to you, telling you how much I loved you, and how to try to work you way out of the limbo you are in and to come back to the people who love you and each visit I let you know that your Cesar was there. This seemed to go on for weeks, every day I was there for you and with you. When I wasn’t with you I was working and back to you again. Back and forth and back and forth constantly. I was watching as you were losing weight, your eyes sinking into the back of your head, it was looking hopeless but I never gave up. It became every day and night I was there talking to you, telling you stories, anything I could do to keep your mind flowing.
For some reason one afternoon I left to go to work and it became a dual image me working, and you in bed. Only your son was with you and as I was yelling at someone at work your eyes blinked and then opened and you asked “where is he, where is my Cesar?” and I woke up.


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