The End

Today I did it, I found where we left off, 5 Dec 2010. It was a chat that I had been looking for, I thought it was the 10th but it was the 5th. I got to read it through, I seemed to handle it well, understood your reasoning, we knew it was going to happen someday and it happened on that Sunday, the 5th of December, the day that Cicero read the last of his Catiline Orations, ironically enough.
I want to let you know that I have finally come to grips with what happened and I so apologize for the hell I put you through. I did not want to accept our parting, as you know, and I threw myself in every possible direction known to man to prevent our parting from happening and all I did was make things worse. I wish I could go back and relive our parting again so that I could have made it better/easier for us but that can not be done and that I am sorry for too.
Then on top of all else I was doing #25Jan happened and I was so in the way and I still am. So that will stop. I am so proud of what your ppl were able to achieve and I hope that all follows through to the government that is desired.
I no longer want to inflict pain or receive it from what we have done. My pains are there but will subside, as you said they will, if I just let them, rereading the chat, and watching the movie last night made me realize this.
Darling, I am so sorry at how I fucked us up, really this should have been handled much better by me, I totally blew it. I don’t usually do that but this time I could not have handled things any worse.
I am sorry, yes I still love you, yes you will always be my Queen, and yes I will overcome any and all pains.
I thank you for being you as you are an absolutely wonderful person and you did not deserve what you received from me.
Be well my love and I will see you in the land of friends.

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